by Lauren Bradshaw

Usually I never watch movie franchises or TV show seasons out of order. After all, it’s pretty idiotic to pick up a series in the middle and expect to know what was going on. But, when I was presented with the opportunity to check out “Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV,” I decided to check it out.

Having never seen any of the “Final Fantasy” movies before, I was interested to see what it would be like coming into the franchise cold. Could I understand what was happening? Would I care about any of the characters? Short answer: No. Long answer: Hellllllll nooooooo, to the point where I had no idea what was going on or who anyone was; the fact that the character and location names are pretty difficult to remember didn’t help matters. No, not even Lena Heady’s velvet voice of expositional dialogue in the film’s introduction could help me get through this.

Because I don’t think I could explain the plot of the movie even if you promised me a date with Leonardo DiCaprio, here is what I copy and pasted from publicity material to give you an idea about the plot confusion:

The magical kingdom of Lucis is home to the sacred Crystal, and the menacing empire of Niflheim is determined to steal it. King Regis of Lucis (Sean Bean) commands an elite force of soldiers called the Kingsglaive. Wielding their king’s magic, Nyx (Aaron Paul) and his fellow soldiers fight to protect Lucis. As the overwhelming military might of the empire bears down, King Regis is faced with an impossible ultimatum — to marry his son, Prince Noctis to Princess Lunafreya of Tenebrae (Lena Headey), captive of Niflheim, and surrender his lands to the empire’s rule. Although the king concedes, it becomes clear that the empire will stop at nothing to achieve their devious goals, with only the Kingsglaive standing between them and world domination.

Yeah, even that synopsis is an enigma. Since the movie is based off of a successful video game franchise, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that it felt like a combination of cut scenes. The incoherent, chaotic nature of the story only added to the unwatchability. I can only imagine what the actors were thinking when they were reading their lines.

But despite the film’s serious issues, what it does have going for it is some great visuals and a fantastic vocal cast. If only I knew what was going on. Maybe fans of the franchise will enjoy this new addition, especially the fact that it will also be available digitally on Aug. 30. However, if you’re going in with zero knowledge of the series, I suggest perhaps starting at the beginning with “Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within,” or leaving it alone altogether.

My Review: I feel like it’s unfair for me to judge this movie having not seen anything else in the franchise and being completely confused by the plot. However, if I were to put that all aside and give you a review, it would be a harsh D-.

Lauren Bradshaw is a lover of all movies, even the bad ones. Follow her on twitter @flickchickdc and her blog is fangirlfreakout.com. She grew up in Courtland, graduated from Southampton Academy and doubled-majored in foreign affairs and history at the University of Virginia. She lives in the Washington, D.C. area.